Tag Archives: asexuality

Asperger’s and Asexuality: Roundup

Here is the roundup of posts for the September 2016 Carnival of Aces, about asperger’s and asexuality. Thanks for submitting!

  1. Linkspam: Autistics Writing about Asexuality by Sara K.
  2. So I was going to make a short post noting this by l-silvermoon

Next month’s carnival is on Joining the Asexual Community.

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Asperger’s and Asexuality

Submissions are invited for September 2016’s Carnival of Aces about Asperger’s and asexuality. I’m using “Asperger’s” to refer to the whole autism spectrum. For potential topics, see Spectral Amoebas.

A blog carnival is an event in which many people write blog posts around a single theme. These posts are then collected at the end of the carnival and linked together by the carnival’s host.

To submit a post, put it up on your blog, and write a comment to this post with the URL of your post. If you do not have a blog, but want to submit a post, I am willing to host guest posts here. Posts can be submitted up to the end of September 2016, at which point I will round up all the submissions.

Alternate forms of media are welcome. If you are not sure whether your piece is okay, submit it anyway and I will figure it out.

Also, help me out by signal boosting this call for submissions, in autism spectrum and asexual spectrum communities. Thanks!

Carnival of Aces Proposal: 2016 September

I’ve requested to host the 2016 September issue of the Carnival of Aces. The theme is, tentatively, “Asperger’s and Asexuality”. I’m using “Asperger’s” to refer to the whole autism spectrum.

I’d like any help publicizing this, especially in the online autism spectrum community.

Sciatrix, Kaz, and Ily hosted a blog carnival “Spectral Amoebas” on the same topic in 2011 January.

Nonbinary People and Asexuality: Roundup

Here is the roundup of posts for the January 2015 Carnival of Aces, about nonbinary people and asexuality. Thanks for submitting!

  1. Genderless and Asexual: Two Interconnected Identities by Cinderace
  2. Not Understanding vs Not Wanting to Understand – There is a Difference by Ettina
  3. Boxes: Why Pick Just One? by Sciencings
  4. All I Want to Be is a Whole Person: On Being Intergender and Asexual by Stormy Rose
  5. Notes on Non-binary Aroace & Queer Assailability… as Queerspawn by Rotten Zucchinis
  6. Nonbinary Butch by The Thinking Asexual
  7. Bidimensional Models for Asexuality and Gender Identity by Isaac

Next month’s carnival is on Cross Community Connections.

Nonbinary People and Asexuality

Submissions are invited for January 2015’s Carnival of Aces about nonbinary people and asexuality. Possible topics include nonbinary experiences of asexuality, and asexual attraction towards nonbinary people.

A blog carnival is an event in which many people write blog posts around a single theme. These posts are then collected at the end of the carnival and linked together by the carnival’s host.

To submit a post, put it up on your blog, and write a comment to this post with the URL of your post. If you do not have a blog, but want to submit a post, I am willing to host guest posts here. Posts can be submitted up to the end of January 2015, at which point I will round up all the submissions.

Alternate forms of media are welcome. If you are not sure whether your piece is okay, submit it anyway and I will figure it out.

Also, help me out by signal boosting this call for submissions, in nonbinary and asexual communities. Thanks!

Locate Asexual People on OKCupid

So you are an asexual person looking for a relationship/friends/whatever. How is OKCupid better than, say Asexualitic.com?

  1. OKCupid appears to have more asexual people than Asexualitic
  2. Many asexual people are not aware of asexuality. They are on sites like OKCupid, but not on Asexualitic
  3. You might be willing to compromise on sex
  4. You might be looking for an open relationship
  5. You might be looking for friends

How to find asexual people on OKCupid?

  1. Answer the asexuality-related questions, and mark them as high priority
  2. I’ve located most of the asexuality-related questions
  3. Do not mark any questions unrelated to asexuality as high priority
  4. Do not mark too many asexuality-unrelated questions as medium priority either, use low priority instead
  5. Do not restrict your acceptable answers too much—this tip applies to non-asexual people as well

How to check if you’ve gotten it right?

  1. Your match with asexual people should be 80%-100%
  2. Assuming your answers are self-consistent, you should be able to find people with a match of atleast 95%, in liberal strongholds like San Francisco, Seattle and Toronto

List of asexuality-related questions. Use the first column as your answer, and the second column as answers acceptable to you. To locate these questions, visit some asexual user’s profile, like that of SwankIvy.

  1. 2 2 Are sex and intimacy the same thing?
  2. 1 123 Could you be in a relationship with someone who had been previously sexually abused?
  3. 2 2 Do you believe that regular sex is necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship?
  4. 1 12 Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality and whether it was different from what you first assumed?
  5. 3 3 How do you think your sex drive compares to what is typical for other people of your age and gender?
  6. 3 23 If you had to choose one of the following, which best describes the role of sex in your life?
  7. 4 4 Once you’re intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex?
  8. 3 34 Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned, how long will it take before you have sex?
  9. 2 2 Which is better: sex without sleeping together or sleeping together without sex?
  10. 1 1 With respect to sex drive, which of the following has created problems in your prior relationships?
  11. 1 1 Would you consider dating someone who has no interest in sex and experiences no sexual attraction to either gender if they were otherwise perfect?
  12. 1 1 Would you consider dating someone who plans to remain celibate indefinitely?
  13. 1 1 Would you consider dating someone who wants no sex for at least two years into a relationship because they were sexually assaulted or raped?
  14. 1 1 Would you date someone who was looking for true love – but no sex, at all, ever?

Since 2014, OKCupid has Asexual, Demisexual, and some other GSRM/LGBT labels.

Happy asexual dating!

Hints

When I was eleven, one girl that I was close to, used to make fun of my friendship with a guy. She was suggesting that we were homosexual, and I didn’t exactly understand what she was saying at that time.

Turns out she was partially right: I am not a heterosexual guy. But it took me many years after that, to realize that I am asexual.

Thanks!

I realized that I was asexual in 2012. Since then, I have discovered a series of things about myself, including my being bigender, my asperger’s, and childhood abuse.

I’m thankful to the various people and communities on the internet whose information helped me understand myself. Especially to Penelope Trunk whose blog was the turning point.